I had a bath at the sea, I went for a walk, I ate and slept and then… nothing; nothing for the rest of the time. The next days I woke up relaxed, with the mind quiet and full of willingness to keep on doing.
Some days ago, in a critical period in which I wasn’t and I couldn’t be emotionally quiet, my brain started to strive to understand the origin of this malaise, it tried to understand what caused this sensation and what could be the “magical pill” that would restore balance and calm the mind.
I’m going to Australia and it’s no enough; rather, I’m irritated by the thoughtof putting myself in a situation that needs so much effort. I have an amazing girlfriend that I can’t wait to see and many friends that can’t wait to see me but even this is not enough. They’re really magnificent but I always seem to make myself a victim of this dissatisfaction that makes me unsure of myself and makes me quarrel with who least deserves my complaints.
I’m still there, trying to find a solution, something “to do” that allows me to end this situation, but nothing. Every person I talk with is irritating me. Every goal I set is boring me and to have nothing makes my situation worse.
In this my lonely phase I decided to go to the sea, alone, without my phone, wallet or headphones to listen to music. Swimming shorts, sandals and towel upon the shoulder. I don’t talk with anyone, I stand on small rocks nearby the beach, I take off my t-shirt and I leave everything on the rocks and dive into the water.
First of all, just in the water, I feel a sense of freedom caused by the lightness of have nothing to care about, nothing that makes me worried. I didn’t have bags unattended. I had just a towel, a t-shirt and a pair of sandals… If someone had stole them I would have just laughed thinking about the scene. Omitting the feeling of well-being of a nice swim in the sea rocked by the waves, I came out, dry myself and simply sit in a comfortable position admiring the stunning place where I am; gorgeous sea typical of the Sardinia, coloured by some fishermen’s boats, different kinds of birds that brighten this picture and few people on the beach that are enjoying these last weeks of good weather by the sea… and I basically do nothing.
I had a bath at the sea, I went for a walk, I ate and slept and then… nothing; nothing for the rest of the time. The next days I woke up relaxed, with the mind quiet and full of willingness to keep on doing. In this case the “don’t do” did much more than the “do”.
I think that the idea of career, money and progress of this society that raises is bringing us to see the “don’t do”, the “do nothing” in a negative way and this is pushing us more and more into an imbalanced life, mentally (like in my case) but also physically if you think about the damage that this progress is doing to the planet.
Now, for the last few days, every day I set aside a little piece of day, one hour approximately, in solitude to do nothing and I realized that this not only reassembles my thoughts, but it also fills me with energy, and everything I do, I do it much better, starting from the practical things to the difficult interactions with people. It’s crucial to do nothing alone because socializing tends to distract us from ourselves and it pushes us in a continuos loop of thoughts.
“To do” was making me heavier and it was making me dissatisfied, and the dissatisfaction was pushing me to do something to find a solution… but if all this “to do” is making us dissatisfied and is pushing us to look for something that satisfies us I need to ask a question to myself:
We do so much because we have a lot of needs or we have so many needs because we do too much?